<First Korean Gay Wedding>
우리 세대의 성소수자들에게 겁내지 않고 맞서는 좋은 본보기인 듯하다. 감독 그리고 대학강사/작가 라는 사회적이미지가 강한 직업에도 불구하고 용기를 낸 그들에게 박수를.
I think a lot of young people out there who are gay or lesbian who are struggling with these issues to see a role model like that who is unafraid. I think its a great thing.OMG yes!
i’m reblogging this for all my gaybies. i love you and i know you will find happiness regardless of what life is throwing you right now♥
(via lifelovekorea)
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for all of your love and support, seriously. my sister hit the ground running, and i hope she doesn’t let anything or anyone kill her momentum.
i’m back, and i promise to start writing again.
how ya been?? i missed you♥
p.s.- Happy Teacher’s Day!~~
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i’m livid, seething with anger right now. my mother contacted me and told me my sister’s apartment was broken into, and that the thieves stole her 27” iMac and her Canon T3 camera and kit, which contained all of her SD cards with her work on it.
Big Sis is currently in an intensive grad program for film in Chicago, and she has had a rough past few 8 months, with a lot of ups and downs. she’s one of the best people i have ever met in my life, and i cannot fathom why life seems so determined to put her through hell and bear down on her time and time again. i know no one deserves such things, except the thieves themselves, but it makes me angry that horrible things repeatedly happen to her regardless of the lengths she goes to to prevent them.
my family is definitely not rollin in money, and my parents and sister poured everything they had into buying her computer and camera, knowing that without them she didn’t stand a chance to excel in her field. one of her neighbors saw the boys who stole her things walking down the street carrying them, and called the police. the police didn’t come til much later, and the boys had already gone.
but stealing her things was not enough for them. compromising her feelings of happiness, safety, and all the hard work she has done to make it through her course was not enough. they poured her expensive lotion and hair products everywhere, they poured vinegar, olive oil, and milk all over everything, but the worst of it is that they defacated in her bathroom, rubbed her towels in it, and rubbed in on the mirror.
the police took 40 mins to arrive when she called them, and they would not take fingerprints because the windows were open which they said would have compromised the fingerprints. they also didn’t take a DNA sample from the feces because it’s not a big enough case.
i called her and talked about it, and she is taking it better than i am. she said the people who do this are pitiful, and that it’s all that they’ll amount to. her only concern right now is finishing her program and finding a way to get her film projects and papers done so she can graduate.
from time to time i’m frustrated that i cannot physically be there to support my family, and this is one of the times i have felt it the most.
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DA TAG GAME
RULES:
POST THE RULES. ANSWER THE QUESTIONS THE PERSON WHO TAGGED YOU HAS GIVEN YOU AND CREATE 10 NEW ONES. TAG 5 suckaz AND LINK THEM TO YOUR POST. LET THEM KNOW YOU’VE TAGGED THEM.
(Tagged by varshhhmellow♥)
1. What’s your greatest strength? What’s your greatest weakness?
my greatest strength is probably my wackiness. through my laughter, my sense of humor, my smile, i think i’m pretty good at lightening the mood and making others feel comfortable.
my greatest weakness is probably my lack of confidence. more often than not i get in my own head and put myself down. i think thats why i seem so positive all the time, it’s my only way of fighting against myself.
2. What are your plans for the future?
my plans for the future are virtually non-existent. i have a vague skeleton of things that i want to do eventually. one bone is finding a job and career that i love and excel in, another bone is get married, and still another bone is build my army of minions [some would refer to this as “have kids”]. after this year in Busan, i’ll probably stay one more year but move to Seoul. beyond that i am not sure, but i definitely want to see more of the world throughout my life.
i also want my family to live out their lives comfortably, my parents, my sister, my brother. if i can contribute towards that in any way, that’s something i wish to accomplish. i owe my family everything.
3. Describe yourself in 3 words and explain why you chose those three words.
three words i would use to describe myself are: passionate, imaginative, & loyal. i chose them because they are the first things that came to mind that represent my personality.
4. Are you a morning person or night person?
a million times a night person. getting up in the morning is my personal hell. i loathe getting out of bed in the a.m. i can stay up all night though, especially if i am hooked on a book or tv series.
5. What is your favorite song and why?
i hate having to pick one of everything, probably because i suck at it. i am one of those people that you would go out with, and every song that comes on they will say, “i love this song!” yup, i’m that friend. in defiance of having to choose one, i’ll list a few songs i love by some favorite artists:
“It’s Whatever” Aaliyah
“Say You’ll Go” by Janelle Monae
“The Hand That Feeds” by Nine Inch Nails
“The Noose” by A Perfect Circle
“Mina Soko Ni Nemure” by THE THRILL
“Bad Girls” by M.I.A.
“Princess of China” by Coldplay feat. Rihanna
i have no explanation as to why i like these songs. different songs speak to different people, and these are just some songs that speak to me.
6. List one advice you’ve learned about life.
i’ve learned that you can find parallel experiences and understanding in the most unlikely of people regardless of nationality, age, language, or socioeconomic status. i’ve also learned to be proud of who i am and where i come from, because it’s all that i am.
7. How did your first kiss happen?
i can’t remember, but i think my first kiss was with my 2nd boyfriend, my freshman year of high school. i think he just randomly kissed me. nothing spectacular. dunno that his breath was all that great either. why did we date again?
8. Do you identify with any religion? Why or why not?
yes, i’m an Episcopalian although i have never had my Confirmation. i am a Christian probably because i was raised as such by my family, but i also identify with God’s teachings and believe that although the stories and themes in the Bible may seem foolish and silly to some, it makes me the person i want to be. also, my religion does not conflict with my personal beliefs and i am not required to compromise who i am. my faith and my being are integrated into each other. it’s also important to note that American Episcopalians do not practice in the same way that those from other countries do. i also believe that many religions are interconnected and worship the same higher power, we just express our love in different ways.
9. What languages do you speak?
other than the obvious, i can speak remedial Japanese, Spanish, and beginner’s level Korean.
10. What did you eat today?
i started out my day with 딸기요구루트/strawberry yogurt, and later had rice, 김치/kimchi, 파전/pajeon, 쇠고기국/beef soup, 쑥떡/mugwort rice cake, and instant coffee.
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My Questions:
1. Where in the world is your favorite place to be?
2. What have you done in your life that you are you most proud of?
3. Please describe one of your most recent embarrassing moments.
4. What is one thing you want to accomplish at some point in your lifetime?
5. What is one of your most prized possessions?
6. Which website outside of tumblr do you visit the most?
7. What song do you love, that you wish more people knew about/appreciated?
8. What made you decide to make a tumblr page?
9. What is the yummiest thing you have eaten in the last week?
10. What is one facet of your offline personality that doesn’t seem to come through in your blog? Why do you think it’s not reflected on your blog?
also, i upped the number of people i tagged to 10:
People I tagged:
If they don’t need you, it’s okay, you do not live for other people.
(via paperplanechaser)
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who has created aforementioned foolishness? that would be me. maybe you guys don’t think so, but i feel foolish. why? i feel foolish for thinking i could continue to cheer Dimples on while remaining emotionally composed, because in that respect i have failed. i think part of it was that i took comfort in the the fact that he was busy, that meeting up with girls is not one of his priorities, and given his shy nature, i thought things between us could just continue floating on the way they were. silly rabbit.
it was all good until a character from Dimples’ prequel popped up into the equation: his Japanese ex he dated in Taiwan. yup, that’s right. outta the blue she decided to send him a watch as a belated bday gift [he insisted i not get him anything for his bday, and now i feel like a clown] and a letter stating that she was still in love with him. they were together for a while, not to mention she is also fluent in Chinese like him meaning he can communicate with her much more easily. everything was cool until it wasn’t anymore. suddenly i felt like someone pulled the ground out from under me, and that’s when i realized i like Dimples more than i previously thought. he was supposed to be the safe one.
“tell him”, Markers insisted, “if you want it take it”. he said waiting around usually did nothing. Doetaku and Markers urged me to say something, so i finally did. i meekly told him i like him, and he told me he liked me too, but that he was worried about leaving for Taiwan in the fall. i asked him if he wanted to get back with his ex, and he said he wasn’t sure, he still didn’t know what he wanted and he had to think about it. when we parted ways, he kissed me goodbye.
i was waiting, and figured we would talk about it when we next met, but i am starting to think [aka my lovely 친구’s are advising me that] it’s time to move on. in the words of Doe, “if you are wrong he has to work to get you back […] if you are right to move on- you will have started the recovery process sooner”. so this is me, making an effort to distance myself from him, and get over it. i can’t be on his cheer squad so much right now, because i need time away from him to control my feelings. but hopefully when i stop feeling sorry for myself [as my mommy would prolly say] i can be a good 누나 to him again.
in any case, on our way home from Korean class last night, Panda insisted we stop at an arcade so i could knock a punching back around a bit, his treat. i’m glad we did, it made me feel a little better.
i always thought finding someone to like you back was the hardest part, but i guess i was wrong.
However, our dialogue about twerking reflects a larger system of cultural appropriation, commodification, and sometimes exploitation that has resulted in the birth of “ratchet culture.” Ratchet has become the umbrella term for all things associated with the linguistic, stylistic, and cultural practices, witnessed or otherwise, of poor people; specifically poor people of color, and more specifically poor women of color. (Yes, ratchet is a very feminine gendered term. See: Ratchet Girl Anthem). Remember when people who weren’t actually from the ghetto started to use the word “ghetto” to describe everything from their friend’s booty to a broken blender (real life examples)? The same phenomenon is happening with ratchet, even for those who do not use the word itself. It is super easy to borrow from the experiences of others as a way to be “fun,” or stretch boundaries on what is “acceptable,” without any acknowledgement of context or framework.
But being ratchet is only cool when you do it for fun, not if those are valid practices from your lived experiences. We watch shows like Basketball Wives, Real Housewives (of all the cities), and Bad Girls Club where women act ratchet as hell all the time. But they do so in designer clothes and at 5-star restaurants, and this paradox acts as a buffer for the ratchet that is the real reason for the shows’ success. Internet sensations like Sweet Brown are the perfect example of how “ratchet culture” is appropriated and commodified. “Aint nobody got time for that” has made its way to memes all over the internet and is used by folks from different backgrounds as punchlines and witty retorts. Sweet Brown has been contracted to sell everything from real estate to dental services. We witnessed the same trend with Antoine Dodson. It is becoming more and more common for folks to use “ratchet” to sell their not-at-all-ratchet products.
On an (inter)personal level, ratchet works to simultaneously police and defy gender, class, sexuality, and respectability norms. Folks with certain privilege are willing and able to float in and out of ratchet at will. The term ratchet became popular for me when I was still in undergrad about three years ago. All of us young, black scholars (constantly trying to justify the black side of the coin or the scholar side, as if they are polar opposites) were enamored with this term as a way to distinguish when we were or were not on the “right side” of the respectability table. When it was time to party we would say, “Let’s get ratchet!” But when I would go check my mail with my hair still wrapped in a scarf or was overheard talking to my friends from “back home” in our local dialect, I was just ratchet. Another example of the fluidity of ratchet was playing double dutch on the quad. At our predominantly white institution we were presenting a form of community building and fellowship that fell outside the boundaries of “appropriate” and “acceptable.” But our privilege as collegiate scholars allowed us to present ourselves in that way without the same push back we may have received if we were just black girls playing double dutch in a predominantly white community park.
I know that for me and many of my friends, the use of the term ratchet was a constant navigation of our identities as young, sexual, inner city hood Chicago-raised, black girls and privileged, college educated, Western women. I can’t stress enough that pop culture trends like twerking, “aint nobody got time for that,” or even just using the word ratchet to define the wild things that happened at last night’s party are all rooted in someone’s lived experience. Sometimes it’s your lived experience, but if it’s not, please stop for a moment to consider your privilege and what role you may be playing in the appropriation of someone else’s exploitation.
(via unapproachableblackchicks)
(via blackfangirlsunite)
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sorry this took so ridiculously long, but i hunted down one of my close friends who happens to be Iranian, let’s call her Dinosaur, and asked her about her experience with racism during her time in Korea. we met at EPIK orientation in 2010 [seriously, it’s been that long??] but sadly she left Korea after 1 year just because she was ready to head home and hit the workforce, and missed her family.
as far as racism is concerned, Dinosaur said she was fortunate not to have experienced any overt racism other than staring. she said people stared sometimes but she usually just ignored it. no one said anything negative to her, but i think many people didn’t know what ethnicity she was. Dinosaur said that no one knew anything about Middle Easterners. her students would sometimes ask her why her nose was so long or why her eyes were so big [not negatively, just in a curious mannor]. it may be worth noting that her school was located in Haeundae, so the children she taught were more likely to be from upper middle class or wealthier families.
if you are not fair skinned like her, or wear a hijab, people may react to you differently, but she never had any really negative experiences regarding racism in Korea.
i hope that helps, if you have any more questions, let me know and i’ll ask her again ♥
17 notes &
i suck at this, but you guys already knew that. i’m sure u also saw through my “Team Dimps updates, tomorrow” foolishness, clearly lies. what a butt head ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
i last left off with Dimps and i meeting at a cafe, and him starting to tutor my student. time goes by, and then comes the weekend Markers is in town. Markers, one of my best friends [yes, another one ㅋㅋ], was in Seoul for a business conference for about 2 weeks, and was able to pop down to Busan for one evening and was adament on meeting Dimples. when he heard what happened to Doetaku and how Dimples stepped in to handle biz back in January, he became an instant fan. it’s been on Markers’ agenda for quite some time to meet Dimps and buy him a couple drinks ㅋㅋㅋ so the appointed Saturday comes, and i head out to meet the boys in my new white lace dress [mwahahahaha~ take that Dimps]. it was a group of 6: me, Markers, Dimps, 1 of Markers’ friends and 2 of Dimps’ friends. we had some beers, some 소주, ate some 삼겹살, and paraded around 서면. some highlights of the night included the 소주 costume mascot person going crazy in the window, me handing out free chip bags to strangers on the street, Dimps giving me a piggy back ride down 4 flights of stairs as people looked on in confusion, feeding all of the guys Cheetos in the street and them all eating from my hand without even questioning why i was feeding them Cheetos [i don’t even know why i was feeding them Cheetos. their friends must think i’m a freak] and watching in bewilderment as Markers talked his way out of a littering ticket then shook hands with the man issuing it who was smiling at this point. only you Markers …
so anyways, Markers and Dimples had a lot of time to talk throughout the night, bromance blossoming in the air. Dimples has a hard time communicating in English, and happily chatted up Markers in Korean as Markers is super fluent. later on, i had a secret-but-not-really mini conference with Markers in the corner of our booth later in the night, and Markers said Dimples is awesome and that he definitely likes me a lot. the problem is that he’s still figuring himself out. he is not completely sure about his life or direction, and is re-adjusting to being back from military service. he said Dimps is the kind of guy who doesn’t want to do things halfway, and if he is in a relationship he wants to invest all he has into it. he’s just not at the point where he can do that right now.
it sucks that this is the case, but i completely respect Dimples and want him to have the time he needs to concentrate on his studies and think about his future. even tho i don’t want to respect that and siphon all his time away from everything else. who made me respectful of other people?? i blame you parentals. thanks, thanks a lot. =_=
later on in the night, Dimples and i mysteriously ended up next to each other in the booth, and one of his friends ratted out to me that it was HIS BIRTHDAY!! he didn’t tell me, or anyone else for that matter, but his old friend knew. i called him out but he insisted it wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t think doing anything special was necessary. suddenly it was apparent everyone else had mysteriously disappeared from the booth [MARKERS’ DOING] and that’s when we kissed. it was nice, i’m even smiling now thinking about it. it was the first time we had kissed or done anything like that since we dated 2.5 years ago, and it felt like a long time coming. we then tracked down our delinquent friends, and congregated outside. for the remainder of the night, Dimps and i trotted around holding hands.
that night happened 2~3 weeks ago, and Dimples and i are not a couple, but i don’t think we will become one either. we have been meeting up and hanging out once in a while, but between his classes, tutoring my student, helping his aunt and uncle, and his new part time job, he has been ridiculously busy. it also sucks that all of his classes and therefore essays are all in Chinese, because i can’t even meet him under the guise of helping him with English assignments [drat, foiled again]. sadly, i do not speak Chinese ㅠㅠ but wait, there’s more- further complicating things is the fact that he told me he thinks he will go back to study in Taiwan this fall.
things are not looking good for us romantically, but at this point i am just focused on spending time with him when we can without worrying about titles, labels, or the future. all i know is that i truly care about him as a friend, an incredibly warm-hearted and selfless man, and someone i want to see grow and succeed. i hope that i can remain a fixture in his life in some capacity, even if we don’t end up getting together. i think we can pretty much all agree that Dimples is awesomesauce to the nth degree, and that is more than enough for me to want to be there for him in any way i can.
